{"title":"Going...Going...","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome things just run their course. These pieces are heading out the door — still full price, still worth it, just not around much longer. Grab them or don't. No pressure. (There's a little pressure.) They may end up in the Fuck It Bucket on discount eventually, but that's on my timeline, not yours. Grab them now or roll the dice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"737\" data-end=\"752\"\u003eFinal sale:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e no refunds, returns, or exchanges.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"are-we-drunk-t-shirt-charcoal-only","title":"Are We Drunk? T-Shirt (Charcoal Only)","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"130\" data-end=\"295\"\u003eThe perfect shirt for when you’re not \u003cem data-start=\"168\" data-end=\"181\"\u003etechnically\u003c\/em\u003e lying, but also not committing to anything. This bold, cheeky design features the ultimate party questionnaire:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"297\" data-end=\"334\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAre we drunk?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"297\" data-end=\"334\"\u003e☐ Yes\u003cbr data-start=\"302\" data-end=\"305\"\u003e☐ No\u003cbr data-start=\"309\" data-end=\"312\"\u003e☑ Bitch, We Might Be\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"336\" data-end=\"596\"\u003eSoft, comfy, and ready for whatever questionable decisions the night brings. Whether you’re at brunch, the bar, or just wandering around Target with a suspiciously full cart, this tee lets everyone know where your vibe is at without you having to say a word.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"598\" data-end=\"612\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"598\" data-end=\"610\"\u003eDetails:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"615\" data-end=\"676\"\u003eSuper soft, breathable 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (aka hangover-friendly)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"615\" data-end=\"676\"\u003eUnisex fit for maximum shenanigan comfort\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"793\" data-end=\"842\"\u003eWear responsibly… or don’t. We’re not your mom.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Profound Sass","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ XS","offer_id":42260205174839,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Charcoal \/ Small","offer_id":42260205207607,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Charcoal \/ Medium","offer_id":42260205240375,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Charcoal \/ Large","offer_id":42260205273143,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Charcoal \/ X-Large","offer_id":42260205305911,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Charcoal \/ XXL","offer_id":42260206092343,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2275\/3835\/files\/rn-image_picker_lib_temp_b8cab7ac-64cc-4944-8ed6-839b21c4446a.jpg?v=1750172401"},{"product_id":"being-offended-is-a-choice-t-shirt-charcoal-only","title":"Being Offended is a Choice T-Shirt (Charcoal Only)","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"155\" data-end=\"443\"\u003eSome people collect hobbies. Others collect outrage. This tee is for the rest of us — the ones who know that being offended is optional, and honestly, must be nice to still have the luxury. Bold, blunt, and guaranteed to spark a reaction, it’s your new favorite clapback in cotton form.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"445\" data-end=\"610\"\u003eMade from 100% airlume combed and ringspun cotton, it’s super soft, breathable, and comfortable enough to wear while you speak your mind (and watch others squirm).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"612\" data-end=\"626\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"612\" data-end=\"624\"\u003eDetails:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"629\" data-end=\"696\"\u003e100% airlume combed and ringspun cotton (lightweight and soft AF)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"629\" data-end=\"696\"\u003eUnisex fit for all-day comfort with attitude\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"629\" data-end=\"696\"\u003eProfessionally DTF printed so your message stays sharp, wash after wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"629\" data-end=\"696\"\u003ePre-shrunk to keep its shape through every eye-roll and rant\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"888\" data-end=\"970\"\u003eWear it proud — because you don’t sugarcoat, and you definitely don’t apologize.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Profound Sass","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ Medium","offer_id":42260220051511,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Charcoal \/ X-Large","offer_id":42260220084279,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Charcoal \/ XXL","offer_id":42260220117047,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2275\/3835\/files\/GIFcolordrenchedmocks_66.png?v=1780059716"},{"product_id":"but-like-seriously-wtf-t-shirt-charcoal-only","title":"But Like Seriously, WTF T-Shirt (Charcoal Only)","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"103\" data-end=\"300\"\u003eFor those moments when words fail… except these words. This shirt is the perfect uniform for navigating baffling life choices, questionable text messages, and whatever fresh chaos the day brings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"302\" data-end=\"451\"\u003eMade from 100% airlume combed and ringspun cotton, it’s insanely soft, lightweight, and ready to help you express existential confusion in comfort.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"453\" data-end=\"467\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"453\" data-end=\"465\"\u003eDetails:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"470\" data-end=\"531\"\u003e100% airlume combed and ringspun cotton (buttery-soft feel)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"470\" data-end=\"531\"\u003eUnisex fit for maximum “WTF” range\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"470\" data-end=\"531\"\u003eProfessionally DTF printed so your message stays bold, wash after wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"571\" data-end=\"645\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"573\" data-end=\"645\"\u003ePre-shrunk so it keeps its shape no matter how many times you throw your hands in the air\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"741\" data-end=\"820\"\u003eFor when you don’t have the energy for a full rant — just point to the shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"741\" data-end=\"820\"\u003eMay have white and light purple OR blue text.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Profound Sass","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ XS","offer_id":42260293582903,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Charcoal \/ Small","offer_id":42260293615671,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ Medium","offer_id":42260293648439,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ Large","offer_id":42260293681207,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Charcoal \/ X-Large","offer_id":42260293713975,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ XXL","offer_id":42260293746743,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2275\/3835\/files\/FUCKITBUCKETMOCKS_4.png?v=1780755385"},{"product_id":"fuck-around-find-out-t-shirt-charcoal-only","title":"Fuck Around \u0026 Find Out T-Shirt (Charcoal Only)","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"85\" data-end=\"265\"\u003eA wearable warning label for anyone thinking about testing your patience. This bold tee says it all — no fine print, no disclaimers, just a clear message for anyone who needs it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"267\" data-end=\"414\"\u003eMade from 100% airlume combed and ringspun cotton, it’s soft enough to lounge in but tough enough to handle whatever drama the day throws at you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"416\" data-end=\"430\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"416\" data-end=\"428\"\u003eDetails:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"433\" data-end=\"510\"\u003e100% airlume combed and ringspun cotton (lightweight and ridiculously soft)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"433\" data-end=\"510\"\u003eUnisex fit for comfort with attitude\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"433\" data-end=\"510\"\u003eProfessionally DTF printed so the statement stays loud, wash after wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"628\" data-end=\"711\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"630\" data-end=\"711\"\u003ePre-shrunk to keep its shape even after repeat confrontations with your laundry\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"713\" data-end=\"823\"\u003ePerfect for markets, protests, or just the grocery store on a Saturday when someone blocks the entire aisle.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Profound Sass","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ XS","offer_id":42260351877175,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Charcoal \/ Small","offer_id":42260351909943,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Charcoal \/ Medium","offer_id":42260351942711,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Charcoal \/ Large","offer_id":42260351975479,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ X-Large","offer_id":42260352008247,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ XXL","offer_id":42260352041015,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2275\/3835\/files\/FUCKITBUCKETMOCKS_5.png?v=1780755718"},{"product_id":"go-fuck-yourself-fortune-cookie-t-shirt-charcoal-only","title":"Go Fuck Yourself Fortune Cookie T-Shirt (Charcoal Only)","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"106\" data-end=\"346\"\u003eA sweet little surprise… with a side of spicy. This tee features a small 3\" fortune cookie graphic, but instead of the usual wisdom or lucky numbers, the fortune delivers exactly what you \u003cem data-start=\"294\" data-end=\"300\"\u003ewish\u003c\/em\u003e you could say out loud: “go fuck yourself.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"348\" data-end=\"502\"\u003eMade from 100% airlume combed and ringspun cotton, it’s ultra-soft, lightweight, and perfect for days when you want to keep your sass subtle but lethal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"504\" data-end=\"518\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"504\" data-end=\"516\"\u003eDetails:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"521\" data-end=\"587\"\u003e100% airlume combed and ringspun cotton (soft AF and breathable)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"521\" data-end=\"587\"\u003eUnisex fit for effortless wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"521\" data-end=\"587\"\u003eProfessionally DTF printed so your snark lasts wash after wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"521\" data-end=\"587\"\u003ePre-shrunk to keep its shape through all your petty adventures\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"758\" data-end=\"850\"\u003eA gentle reminder that sometimes, the best fortune is telling someone exactly where to go.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Profound Sass","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ XS","offer_id":42260426850359,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Charcoal \/ Medium","offer_id":42260426883127,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Charcoal \/ X-Large","offer_id":42260426915895,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Charcoal \/ XXL","offer_id":42260426948663,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 3XL","offer_id":42260426981431,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2275\/3835\/files\/FUCKITBUCKETMOCKS_6.png?v=1780756047"},{"product_id":"have-a-good-day-or-dont-t-shirtcharcoal-only","title":"Have a Good Day, or Don't. 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This shirt serves up a polite greeting with a side of brutal honesty: \u003cem data-start=\"201\" data-end=\"251\"\u003ehave a good day, or don’t — nobody gives a fuck.\u003c\/em\u003e Perfect for mornings, Mondays, or any situation involving small talk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"325\" data-end=\"488\"\u003eMade from 100% airlume combed and ringspun cotton, it’s ridiculously soft, lightweight, and comfortable enough to wear while avoiding eye contact with strangers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"490\" data-end=\"504\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"490\" data-end=\"502\"\u003eDetails:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"507\" data-end=\"578\"\u003e100% airlume combed and ringspun cotton (buttery-soft and breathable)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"507\" data-end=\"578\"\u003eUnisex fit so anyone can share the apathy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"507\" data-end=\"578\"\u003eProfessionally DTF printed so your truth bomb stays crisp wash after wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"507\" data-end=\"578\"\u003ePre-shrunk to keep its shape no matter how many laundry days you ignore\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"780\" data-end=\"839\"\u003eThe ultimate wardrobe staple for not caring — in comfort.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"780\" data-end=\"839\"\u003eText design may be white and light purple OR blue.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Profound Sass","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ XS","offer_id":42260442284087,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ Small","offer_id":42260442316855,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ Medium","offer_id":42260442349623,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ Large","offer_id":42260442382391,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ X-Large","offer_id":42260442415159,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ XXL","offer_id":42260442447927,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ 3XL","offer_id":42260442480695,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2275\/3835\/files\/FUCKITBUCKETMOCKS_7.png?v=1780756230"},{"product_id":"have-the-day-you-deserve-t-shirt-charcoal-only","title":"Have the Day You Deserve T-Shirt (Charcoal Only)","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"138\" data-end=\"349\"\u003eNot quite a blessing, not exactly a curse — just the perfect shirt for when you want to serve equal parts sass and truth. Whether you’re feeling generous or petty, this tee says it all without saying too much.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"351\" data-end=\"493\"\u003eMade from 100% airlume combed and ringspun cotton, it’s soft, breathable, and ready for whatever your day (or someone else’s) throws at you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"495\" data-end=\"509\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"495\" data-end=\"507\"\u003eDetails:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"512\" data-end=\"574\"\u003e100% airlume combed and ringspun cotton (soft as your shade)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"512\" data-end=\"574\"\u003eUnisex fit for all-day comfort and attitude\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"512\" data-end=\"574\"\u003eProfessionally DTF printed so the message stays sharp, wash after wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"512\" data-end=\"574\"\u003ePre-shrunk to keep its shape no matter how many times karma shows up\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"772\" data-end=\"837\"\u003ePerfect for when subtle sarcasm is your favorite kind of truth.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Profound Sass","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ XS","offer_id":42260444020791,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ Small","offer_id":42260444053559,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ Medium","offer_id":42260444086327,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ Large","offer_id":42260444119095,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ X-Large","offer_id":42260444151863,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charcoal \/ XXL","offer_id":42260444184631,"sku":"tshirt","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2275\/3835\/files\/HAVE-THE_DAY_YOU_DESERVE_20241227_124816_0000.png?v=1735321793"},{"product_id":"he-who-hath-not-a-uterus-t-shirt-charcoal-only","title":"He Who Hath Not a Uterus... 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Wear it proud. 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